Being a friend to refugees: Hospitality, listening and dignity

When Dallya first started working at JRS UK, she found a welcome that she now delights in offering to the refugee friends whom JRS accompanies. She joins Julia on the Things I Wish I Knew podcast to talk about the little things, and the big things, that can help to make a new country feel like home.

In conversations about refugees and asylum seekers, public debate often focuses on politics, borders and statistics. While policy matters deeply, we can lose sight of a deeper imperative: we are called to encounter one another as human beings, and this encounter shapes how we respond to the realities of migration.

In the latest episode of Things I Wish I Knew, Julia Corcoran speaks with Dallya Alhorri about friendship, belonging and accompanying refugees with dignity and compassion. Their conversation opens up a broader reflection on how we think about migration and displacement, particularly through an Ignatian lens.

The Jesuit tradition places great emphasis on accompaniment. Rather than approaching people as problems to be solved or categories to be managed, accompaniment begins with encounter. It asks us to walk alongside others, to listen attentively and to recognise the dignity of each individual person. This approach feels especially important in discussions about refugees and asylum seekers, where language can easily become abstract and impersonal.

Much public discourse reduces people to labels: migrant, refugee, asylum seeker. While these terms may have legal meaning, they can flatten the complexity of human lives. Every person carries their own story, relationships, fears and hopes. Jesuit spirituality invites us to resist seeing people as anonymous groups and instead meet them as individuals created in the image of God.

This requires a different posture from one often encouraged by contemporary culture. We are frequently urged to form immediate opinions, choose sides and speak quickly. The Ignatian tradition, by contrast, encourages attentiveness and discernment. Before asking what we think about refugees, perhaps we must first ask whether we are truly listening to them.

Dallya reflects on the importance of not making assumptions about what people need. This instinct towards listening rather than imposing solutions reflects a deeply Ignatian way of proceeding. Jesuit ministry has long emphasised meeting people where they are, paying attention to their lived experience and recognising that dignity is preserved when individuals are treated as participants in their own lives rather than passive recipients of help.

This way of seeing relationships reframes the core question: how do we move from charity to mutuality through transformative encounter? Pope Francis speaks about the ‘culture of encounter’, warning against the tendency to keep suffering distant. Encounter disrupts comfort and reveals our shared humanity, reminding us that those we call ‘other’ are not truly separate from ourselves.

One of the most striking ideas to emerge from Dallya’s conversation is that those accompanying refugees often receive as much as they give. This insight resonates strongly with the Ignatian understanding that God is present and active in all people. Encounters with those who have experienced displacement, loss and uncertainty can reveal extraordinary resilience, generosity and hope. Such encounters are not one-sided acts of service. They can become moments of transformation for everyone involved.

Ignatian spirituality also asks us to pay attention to the margins. Historically, the Society of Jesus has sought to accompany those excluded or overlooked by society, not simply as an act of social action but as a way of encountering Christ himself. Refugees and asylum seekers often exist at precisely these margins, vulnerable to suspicion, hostility or indifference. The challenge for Christians is not only to advocate for justice in the abstract, but to cultivate habits of welcome in daily life.

Hospitality is rarely dramatic. More often, it takes shape through ordinary gestures: listening without judgement, learning someone’s name, offering patience or creating spaces where people feel recognised. These actions may appear small, yet they carry profound significance for someone navigating isolation or uncertainty.

There is also an invitation here to examine our own reactions honestly. Why do conversations about migration evoke fear or defensiveness in some contexts? What assumptions do we carry about people whose experiences differ from our own? Discernment involves bringing these instincts into the light rather than ignoring them.

Importantly, accompaniment does not require simplistic answers to complex political realities. Catholics may disagree on aspects of immigration policy while still affirming the inherent dignity of every person. The Jesuit approach does not begin with ideology. It begins with relationship and the conviction that no human being should be reduced to a problem or treated as disposable.

In a world shaped by division and polarisation, this vision of encounter feels increasingly urgent. The question is not only what kind of policies societies create, but what kind of communities we become. Are we communities marked by fear and distance, or by attentiveness and compassion?

The conversation with Dallya ultimately points towards a deeper understanding of solidarity. Solidarity is not pity from afar. It is the willingness to draw near, to listen and to allow ourselves to be changed by what we encounter.

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