Faith, adulthood and the millennial journey

‘Digital natives’; ‘the first generation who will be poorer than their parents’ – millennials (those born between 1981 and 1996) have plenty of labels attached to them, but how do they translate into lived experience, and how well does the Church speak to that reality? It’s something that Jean has thought and prayed about a lot, so she tells Things I Wish I Knew how she navigates the tensions of millennial life.

What does it mean to grow up in a world where the rules seem to have changed halfway through the game? For many millennials, adulthood has meant disruption, both economic and spiritual. The well-worn map of a ‘successful life’ handed down by earlier generations has, for many, led not to security but to uncertainty.

This tension lies at the heart of a recent episode of the Things I Wish I Knew podcast, featuring a conversation with Jean Kabasomi, a freelance consultant with a background in banking and theology. While the discussion focuses on her own experience, it invites wider reflection on what it means to live faithfully as a millennial today and what the Church might learn from listening more deeply to this generation.

Jean speaks candidly about the expectations her generation grew up with: study hard, find a stable job, buy a house, start a family. Society at large often presented these as natural milestones. Yet the financial crash of 2008, rising living costs and the lasting effects of the pandemic have made that path difficult to follow. Home ownership feels unattainable for many, stable work is often precarious, and the sense of collective progress that once shaped society has weakened.

For those raised in an age of optimism, this has led to a quiet disillusionment. It is not only an economic shift but a crisis of meaning. Jean notes that younger generations have a different approach to adulthood, though; shaped by social media and digital entrepreneurship, many from Generation Z pursue multiple income streams and more fluid definitions of success. Millennials, by contrast, often feel caught between two worlds: educated for stability, yet living in an era of constant change.

In this shifting landscape, faith can be both a challenge and a source of renewal. Jean reflects on how, amid uncertainty, her relationship with God has remained a vital anchor. Daily moments of prayer and reflection help her to stay grounded, not as a way to escape instability but to live within it with peace.

This perspective feels especially relevant to a generation accustomed to comparison. Social media encourages people to measure their progress against the curated highlights of their peers. Faith, in contrast, invites honesty and freedom – the courage to be known in both strength and weakness.

Yet the relationship between millennials and the Church is not always straightforward. The conversation touches on what Jean describes as ‘church hurt’: the pain that arises when communities fall short of their own message of love and hospitality. Some have found churches unwelcoming or have felt disconnected from their realities; others have struggled to reconcile faith with institutional failures.

Jean believes that healing begins with listening. The Church, she suggests, must be open to hearing what younger generations are saying, not simply to draw them back into old patterns, but to ask what new forms of community might be emerging. Millennials, in turn, can rediscover that faith is not a transaction but a relationship that grows through honesty, doubt and perseverance.

There are signs of hope. Across many parishes and ministries, young adults are forming small communities of prayer, service and reflection. These groups are often less concerned with labels and more focused on authenticity, and on being honest about questions, setbacks and the search for meaning. In these spaces, faith becomes something lived and shared, rather than performed.

Listening to Jean, it becomes clear that the millennial struggle is not entirely new. It echoes a long Christian tradition of learning to trust in God when familiar securities fade. Economic and cultural shifts can reveal profound spiritual questions: what truly sustains us? What kind of stability do we seek – material, emotional or spiritual?

The Ignatian tradition offers a way of responding. Discernment begins not with certainty but with attention, noticing where peace and restlessness move within the heart. For a generation accustomed to change, this spiritual attentiveness may be a gift. When old assumptions no longer hold, faith can shift from rigidity to companionship with God.

Millennials are sometimes described as a ‘lost’ or ‘disconnected’ generation. Yet perhaps they are, in another sense, a generation invited to rediscover the essentials of faith: trust, community and discernment. Their struggles with uncertainty may be the very soil in which a more honest and compassionate spirituality can grow.

As we continue to navigate a world marked by change, Jean’s story offers a gentle reminder that meaning is not found in outcomes but in relationships. The task of the Church, and of faith itself, is to accompany that search, but also to listen, learn and walk together towards hope.

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