Faith, abuse and the search for healing: Rebuilding trust in the Church

In the second part of their conversation on Things I Wish I Knew, Antonia and Julia turn their attention to how the Church can foster the culture of care that is a necessary foundation for healing, trust and safety. ‘Reconciliation requires more than compliance. It calls for a way of being that meets people with honesty and care.’

The latest episode of the Things I Wish I Knew podcast continues a conversation begun in the previous episode, turning more directly to the question of reconciliation within the Church. Drawing on reflections shared by Antonia Sobocki in conversation with Julia Corcoran, it considers what is required to create a Church that seeks not only to acknowledge harm but to become a place where healing is possible.

If the first part of this conversation centred on the sense of loss and disruption, this second part asks what comes next. How does the Church respond to those whose trust it has broken? And what might reconciliation mean in a context where wounds are deep and not easily resolved?

In speaking about her experience, Antonia resists any simple framing of victim-survivors as being set against the Church. There is a tendency to hear criticism as hostility, or to interpret calls for accountability as a rejection of faith. Yet her reflections suggest something more demanding. To speak honestly about abuse is not to stand outside the Church, but to call it back to itself.

This perspective challenges a defensive posture that can sometimes emerge in difficult conversations. If the Church understands itself as the body of Christ, then the suffering of its members cannot be treated as external to its life. The voices of victim-survivors are not interruptions to church life, but part of it. Listening to them is therefore not optional. It is integral to what it means to be a faithful community.

Here, the practice of listening takes on particular importance. Antonia speaks plainly about what helps and what does not. Healing is not something that can be imposed or managed from the outside. ‘You can’t fix somebody; they’re not a broken vase. But you can listen, you can be there.’ The simplicity of this observation is also its challenge. It asks for presence without control, and attention without defensiveness.

For the Church, this has implications that go beyond individual encounters. Safeguarding structures and formal processes are essential, but they are not sufficient on their own. Without a culture that takes survivors seriously, such measures risk becoming procedural rather than pastoral. Reconciliation requires more than compliance. It calls for a way of being that meets people with honesty and care.

Antonia’s experience also points to the importance of engagement with the institutional Church. Her encounters with church leaders, including her participation in discussions in Rome with the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors, reflect a commitment to remain within the life of the Church while seeking its renewal.

This is not an easy position to hold. It involves inhabiting a tension between belonging and critique, between faith in the Church’s calling and a clear-eyed recognition of its failures. Yet it is within this tension that the possibility of change begins to take shape. There is a reform that is rooted in lived experience and sustained by those who remain, which has a particular depth and credibility.

There is, in this, a demanding vision of reconciliation. It is not a matter of drawing a line under the past or rushing towards a resolution. Nor is it achieved by distancing the Church from those who have been harmed. Rather, it involves a sustained commitment to truth, accountability and presence.

For those who have not experienced abuse directly, this raises questions about participation. What does it mean to be part of a Church that takes responsibility seriously? How can communities become places where victim-survivors are not only welcomed but genuinely heard? These are not questions with quick answers, but they also cannot be avoided.

Reconciliation, in this sense, is a shared task. It belongs not only to victim-survivors or to church leadership, but to the whole community. It is expressed in the practices of listening, transparency and a willingness to remain attentive to voices that may be uncomfortable to hear.

The conversation with Antonia does not offer a resolution. Instead, it clarifies what is at stake. A Church that seeks to be a place of healing must be prepared to listen without defensiveness, to act with integrity and to remain present even when the path forward is uncertain.

Listen to ‘Things I Wish I Knew About Reconciliation After Abuse – Part 2’; and to get all of our new episodes and catch up on our back catalogue, subscribe now >>

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The Jesuits in Britain are committed to the highest standards of safeguarding. The protection of children and vulnerable adults absolutely underpins all of our work. To this end, we are committed to achieving justice for victim-survivors of abuse, as well as their care and support. You can read more here >>